So the first thing that had me focused on this, was during the conflict management workshops last week, fabulous offices, picture in the image for this quick blog, if you need to rent somewhere in London, based all over, extremely helpful and trendy to boot!
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I can put you in touch. Anyway I digress…on the conflict management workshop, the stories and discussions about the fact that, although we were both present in the same situation, our recall of what happened, what was said, etc. A nasty letter, full of accusations, admitted assumptions and threats, it was horrible and ignited a fury!
However, it was handled extremely well, not by me, but by my partner, I was very impressed, I fell in love a little bit more actually, he was a hero! He actually got an apology, verbally and by text, more content for my workshop! Further, women are bravely speaking out against male abuses of power and sexual coercion in the workplace — but what about sexual coercion and abuse within a marriage?
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Or within the context of religion, where traditional gender roles and prohibitions against extramarital sex might make it difficult to speak up? When I initially drafted this list, I began with the obvious suspects: But these works are always included on lists like this.
Light Years by James Salter Not just one of the best novels about marriage and infidelity but one of the best novels ever, period.
Top 10 books about cheating
Salter is known as a virtuoso writer on illicit sex and infidelity. Nedra and Viri Berland have what looks like the perfect marriage and family, yet in private their relationship is imploding. Salter details the dissolution of their marriage while insisting that love still undergirds all — despite their infidelities, the Berlands love one another. Written on the Body by Jeanette Winterson A nameless, genderless narrator falls for a married woman named Louise.
When she married Tom, she had a lot of insecurities and needed a lot of approval. Because of this she avoided conflict like the plague.
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She was afraid if Tom got upset with her, he would abandon her. He would see the qualities that she saw in herself and he would not want to be with her any longer.
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Because of this fear, she manipulated herself to please him, never really being authentic. As some years past, she felt a loss of her sense of self. Along came an older, attractive co-worker who showed her a lot of positive attention. With him she could really be herself because there was no fear of loss. The relationship progressed into a physical affair.
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In counseling, along with healing from the affair and rebuilding trust, Suzanne had to do a lot of individual work to understand her pain and fear and how it created problems in her relationship. Tom had difficulty understanding how Suzanne could claim to love him and still have an affair. Through exploration, he was able to understand that it was her deep love for him that made her so afraid, which was what created some of the pull of the affair.
He worked to find compassion for her fears and pain while also working to heal his own.